I understand where you are coming from, but I strongly disagree. If they want to call it a marriage and a marriage, that is their right. They don`t have to disclose true legality if they don`t want to. « As soon as guests are seated, the official`s words of welcome are appropriate, » Carnevale advises. « If you want there to be wedding readings from friends or family members, these can be done after the reception. » Also, if you are planning a unity ceremony, such as a sand ceremony or hand fast, this ceremonial element can take place at this time of the service. Planning an engagement ceremony is no different than planning a runaway or wedding ceremony. Start by thinking about what you want to do and what kind of ceremony you want to have. Exchanging vows and rings is a common part of an engagement ceremony, just like any other wedding, but what you say and do depends on your unique vision! Since the birth of online ordination, it`s been a very easy and intimate way to include a loved one in your big day when you ask a friend or family member to officiate your wedding. When your mom, dad, best friend, whatever, officiates, the focus is on your journey as a couple and is the perfect choice for people who want to hold their ceremonies in person. In the past, betrothal ceremonies were used by couples who could not legally marry from church or state because of their sexual orientation or race. Many couples still use commitment ceremonies to bond with each other without going through the legal steps required by marriage. Get inspired by Ben and Joriel`s illegal marriage and just exchange vows: My daughter wants to do a fasting engagement ceremony and not get married legally because her future mother-in-law gets sick very often (she has already had three strokes) and her fiancé is the only child she has had. He wants to commit to her instead of getting married legally, because they don`t feel ready for the real thing yet.
Which I think is correct, because I believe in not rushing to make an important vow that is supposed to mean a marriage for life. The mother-to-be had said she thanked them for thinking of her, but she prefers to make them wait and plan the real wedding when they are ready. So I say, call it what you want to call it, and the family shouldn`t be upset or angry if you`re not legally married, but in reality, betrothal and hand fasting ceremonies were an illegitimate activity and custom for many years before legal marriage took place. When I got married, we exchanged vows and had an engagement ceremony in Peru, even though we were from the United States and Scotland. We had already signed all the papers nine months earlier, but we consider the ceremony at the top of the mountain in Peru to be our wedding day. It just didn`t fit with our view that our wedding day was hampered by the logistics of trying to get married legally in a country halfway around the world where we live. Our day was dedicated to our wants, needs and vision – no one else. The government played no role in our commitment to each other, and that is exactly how we wanted our marriage. For example, maybe you recently got married and couldn`t have the wedding of your dreams. Or life threw a few curved balls at you and the big wedding you planned quickly turned into a courthouse. Maybe you`ve always dreamed of a beach wedding, but you don`t live near a beach and the family wasn`t willing to travel.
Difficult family or personal situations may make legal marriage impossible. And let`s not forget about couples who simply don`t want to get married legally. There are many reasons why couples celebrate an engagement ceremony in Florida instead of a legally binding traditional wedding. My boyfriend and I have a fast in October. It will not be legally binding because in my home state you have to be 21 to get married. It will also be a pagan event because my family is not pagan. So we`re going to have a « normal » marriage when I`m 21. I didn`t expect to see paperwork at a wedding. Our minister has a certificate that we will sign and ask him to keep it until our next mandate.
Or your loved ones simply tell them it`s a blessing if they really need to know. The last option isn`t ideal, but tell them you had a registrar. I can`t imagine who would see your papers. When you arrive at the reception, no one will care whether you have signed a certificate or not. That is essentially what I intend to do. Because we are both on the same page in terms of legality, and because we both want our friend to officiate (in NC, the laws of who can legally perform a marriage are much stricter), we have a marriage without the legal part. For us, it`s about saying those words of commitment while being surrounded by the people we love. A marriage certificate is just a piece of paper.
I mean, why do I need the government to tell me that my marriage is real? FH and I are the only ones who can decide. *I* don`t care. Most people on this site probably don`t care. But no one exists in a bubble, and you need to be aware of other people`s reactions and know how you`re going to handle them. Aunt Sally or Grandma Jane may be a little upset that, in their supposed words, you are not « really married » even though there has been a marriage. You don`t have to worry about it, but understand that not everyone sees things the way you do. Sarah and Tim, known for Kermit and Miss Piggy, had a great idea when they got married. Since they had already gotten married when they left, they used their party a year later as an excuse to say nice things to each other. Our goal is to help couples plan runaways that perfectly match their vision of what a perfect wedding day should look like, and an engagement ceremony is one of our favorite ways to create an authentic celebration! An engagement ceremony is similar to a wedding, but is not legally binding. During the ceremony, two people declare their love for each other and vow to spend the rest of their lives together. Sometimes the ceremony involves wedding traditions; At other times, couples become completely creative with their ceremony and talk directly to each other without frills.
Thank God I found this page and this discussion. I have a « wedding » in two months, but partner and I are not legally getting married for various reasons.